Hello family and friends,
I’d like to take a moment to lay some thoughts down here regarding what should occur in the event of my untimely demise. I’ve chatted about this with a few close friends and my wife, and to offer some peace of mind, it’s about time I put my wishes in writing.
This document will be regularly updated, and the latest version available at the time of my passing will supersede any verbal or written instructions shared previously. The page will indicate the latest update date for clarity.
Legal Documents
As of this writing, I don’t have a formal will, living will, or advance directive, although I plan to draft and notarize them in the future. In the absence of these documents, I want to make it known that my inheritance will default to my wife, which is ultimately my preference.
My wife and I have had discussions around a few minor personal provisions, and once I formalize these thoughts into legal documents, I’ll update this section accordingly.
Digital Inheritance
Currently, I own three domains: shadeking.cam, coder.cam, and tldr.cam. Each is registered for the maximum term of 10 years through NameCheap. I have no specific requests regarding the renewal of these domains, leaving it to the discretion of my loved ones and close friends. Many of the sites hosted on these domains are self-hosted in my Lab. Shutting them down will involve powering off the lab machines.
This blog is hosted on Github Pages, which is free. You should be able to keep it up without any charge.
I share several services on these machines with friends and family, and I’ll leave it to them to determine the best course of action. Access to my SSH keys is available in my KeePassXC keyvault, to which Brittaney should have access, along with my passwords and accounts. She should be able to access everything with my Yubikey and a password I’ve shared with her.
As for social media, I don’t feel there’s a need for updates after my passing, so it’s being skipped.
Memorial Ceremony
When it comes to a ceremony, I’m not particular. If it brings peace to my family and friends, I welcome them having one, but please don’t go overboard. I imagine any gathering would be informal, shorts and comfort over suits has always been my very vocal preference as anyone who knows me can attest. I have no preference for an officiant or whether the ceremony should have religious elements.
Body and Organ Donation
My body, honestly, feels like a poorly built rental car, so I don’t hold any attachment to it after I’m gone. Thus, I request that the cheapest method of disposal be used. If it were possible, I’d love to have my body launched into space, or perhaps used as compost for a nice pepper garden, but lacking that, cremation works just fine.
As for organ donation, I’m entirely on board if it can help others. I want to donate anything usable at the time of my death, but I’ve heard stories of donations being used for weapons testing, which isn’t my choice. My commitment to helping others aligns with my lifetime actions, including regular blood donation and being on the bone marrow registry, so if I’m not using it anymore, I want it to benefit someone else.
If Elvis Has Left the Building, Turn Off The Lights
In case I end up in a medical situation where my recovery is impossible without extraordinary measures, y’know, when doctors and nurses suddenly stop saying things in certain terms, I’ve been clear with those who matter in my life: I want to let go if I’m not mentally there and unable to recover. Brittaney, knows this and if she’s finding it difficult to make that decision, I’ve directed my two closest friends, David and Colin, to step in and help make that call on her behalf. They, along with Brittaney, understand me and my wishes better than anyone else. The idea is, metaphorically speaking, if Elvis has left the building, make sure you turn off the lights.
Parting Thoughts
I have worn many hats in my life, but at the core of it all, I want to be remembered as the absolute best friend, partner, and daddy a person could have. I’ve never been one to have a very large circle of friends at any point in my life, but for the people who are close to me, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for them. Brittaney, the love of my life, whose grace and patience with me never wavers in spite of me putting them through the ringer, and my daughter, Grace, who has filled my life with such indescribable joy, are major parts of my identity. I love you, ladies.
I’d also like to think I’d be remembered as a pretty decent technologist, as technology has played an integral role in my life and brought me a lot of joy. It’s what has allowed me to build a good life for my family and has given me the opportunity to help others do the same for theirs.
Finally, please remember this is a living document, likely to be updated frequently. Keep an eye out for changes.
Thank you all.